Self-identity can be a very fickle friend.
Self-identity is defined as the recognition of one’s potential and qualities as an individual, especially in relation to social context.
Social context would the culture that the individual was educated in or lives in, and the people and institutions with which they interact.
Self-identity.
One moment it is the cheering, boisterous agent that convinces you of your preeminence at what you do and catapults you to uniquely fashioned significance.
The next moment, it is the blended voice in a sea of criticism, suffocating you into a seemingly bottomless pit of uselessness.
Because of this natural tendency to identify yourself by your surroundings, by your peers, and by your own self-assessment, I believe that knowing who you are in the context of God’s design and plan is perhaps one of the most important issues that can ever be faced and settled (and periodically re-settled) in the life of a believer.
When God defined Himself to Moses, He simply said, “I AM.” Those two words can be very powerful words in our lives when we let God define us.
Despite the successes that I have experienced during my lifetime, I have struggled at times with self-esteem and worthiness. Recently, those issues became visible again when I decided to take a step towards re-entering the workforce after 20 years of staying home to raise my children. When I actually submitted myself to the analysis and scrutiny of a potential employer, I found myself lacking.
Lacking in up-to-date technical skills.
Lacking in stamina and focus.
Lacking in appropriate attire.
Lacking in knowledge of the “real” world.
I also came face to face with the core of my own message: that every person and every ordinary encounter of life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, has the potential to be powerful.
On the one hand, I felt confident and successful with half of the interview. I had performed well. On the other hand, I had failed to produce, having achieved only a fraction of my perceived potential. I felt humiliated. I felt outdated. I felt less than adequate. Adding to the pain was the interviewer’s query regarding my ability to acquire new skills. “Since you are a little bit older…” Wait. Older? Where did that smart, focused, energetic woman go?
Self-identity had reared it’s flighty head and I found myself spinning.
As I experienced the reality of lack, I began to really grapple with the issues God was getting at in my heart. What is my identity? What is my purpose at this moment in time?
When we feel success or when we feel lack, many times we are comparing ourselves and our performance to the social context around us. Paul called it comparing yourselves among yourselves. He said it was unwise. I love the New Living Translation’s rendering of this text in 2 Corinthians 10.
“Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us.”
Recognizing and defining the boundaries of the work and the authority that God has given specifically to YOU provides a solid standard to determining your identity, your direction, and your success.
As I walked through this stripping of my own ideas of my identity and the realization of my lack, I saw where God was really leading me.
He was leading me into Trust…
Trust in who HE created me to be.
Trust in the process that HE was taking me through in my life.
Trust that if I would ask and listen, that HE would lead me.
Trust in the perfecting of my very soul, engineered by HIM.
It was not about the job. It was not about how much (or how little) I knew or could learn. It was not about how well or how poorly I would perform. It was about His plan and purpose for the next step in my life. It was about a new look at my identity. The false foundations of my worth based on my own strength, my own skills or abilities, or my own idea of success was being burned away (again).
Now it’s important to realize that I believe in excellence. In everything. I believe in preparation, in learning, in service, in diligence, and in faithfulness. I believe we should desire to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, aiming to become more adept at our strengths, and understanding our weaknesses so that we can attempt to improve them. Christ inside of us should exhibit no less than the very best of a uniquely created being.
So what was my answer in this confusing time of not measuring up?
The answer is that while cultivating excellence in our lives, we must find our identity separate from our successes or our failures, especially when compared to those around us.
The answer is to look at the past, the present, and the future and find the common element of God’s definition of you. It requires going much deeper and much more foundational. Who is it that God created you to be, and what is His plan for you in this moment? Can you hear Him saying, “Well done” or do you hear Him saying, “Follow me”?
I think He says both, in a perpetual motion. “Follow me. Well done. Now follow me.”
He says “well done” not because we have succeeded or performed at a high level, passed a test or gained a position in a social context. He says “well done” because we have been obedient to what He asked us to do. The context for hearing these words is obedience, faithfulness, and stewardship with what we have been given.
When we quiet our minds enough to hear His voice, I do believe that He is continually asking us follow Him. He may be using a different route than we have previously been using. Following doesn’t require knowing exactly where you are going. It doesn’t require a special skill. It only requires the ability and willingness to hear or see where the leader is going and choose to go in that direction.
When things become all jumbled, confused, and unclear and when your emotions betray the logic and faith that have mixed together throughout your life to guide you in a forward motion, I suggest that you re-focus on what God has said about you. When you are tempted to listen to your own misguided memory and judgments to define you, resist the temptation. When you are tempted to let your successes or failures compared to others define you, resist that temptation.
Instead, dig down to find out what God says about you. Search for where God is leading you. Define yourself by letting Him finish the statement, “I am…” The definition of who you are can be altered or refined over time, so you must continually submit yourself to Him throughout the process of life.
Let God define your identity. Listen as He expresses His approval of you. And in that knowledge and security, follow Him forward.