If Only

I was recently reminded of a phrase I read a few years ago that seemed to jump off the page as I read it.

If only…

The book was my Bible.

As I began to ponder this phrase, I realized that I was guilty of giving those very words voice, usually in the recesses of my mind. I had wasted precious time and energy wishing that my situation was different. You may even have thought or said some of these things.

If only I had more time or money.

If only my wife or husband would change.

If only I had a good friend.

If only I wasn’t sick.

If only this day (or this year or this season of my life) would be over.

If only I had done better with my children, my job, or my finances.

If only things were different.

This mode of thinking can produce 2 different results.

Whatever the circumstances that you face, there is hope for a change.

There was once a woman who faced considerable difficulty in multiple areas of her life. This woman uttered the phrase ‘if only’ that leapt from my Bible in Matthew 9:21. This woman had a real issue: it was an issue of blood.

The unnamed woman featured in this short passage was constantly bleeding, and had been in that state for 12 years. She had been to multiple doctors and no one knew how to cure her. Whatever her financial state before, she was now poor and destitute because she had exhausted all her resources trying to discover a cure for her condition. And it gets worse. To understand the extreme difficulty of her situation, you need to understand the times in which she lived.

Bleeding was a stigma.

Even during normal times of menstruation, a woman was considered unclean and had to separate herself from the rest of the people. She was isolated. No one was allowed to touch her for 7 days.

This woman had been deemed unclean for 12 years. Not only that, anything or anyone that she touched was also considered unclean. The emotional pain caused by isolation was just as significant as the physical ailment that she had. There is a reason that the punishment of solitary confinement is reserved for the most unruly prisoners. It is a punishment that is difficult to bear. In today’s world, this woman would be like someone with Ebola — quarantined and separated from everyone else.

For the woman who had been to numerous doctors, tried numerous remedies, and exhausted numerous hopes, she dared to hope again. She had heard of someone who was making people well. This man wasn’t a doctor. He was a teacher. She set out to find him and discovered him surrounded by a crowd of people.

In the midst of this situation, she thought these words, “If I only touch his garment, I will get well.”

Though she was physically weak, alone, and carried the burdensome weight of past disappointments, she wasn’t looking at her state in discontent or despair. She could have supposed many things. If only I wasn’t sick. If only I had money. If only there was a cure. If only I wasn’t alone. She instead chose to dwell on the hope of touching a man who had the potential to make her well.

But she didn’t stop there. Thinking ‘if only’ is merely the first step. She didn’t solely imagine the possibility. With the little energy she had left, she quietly slipped into the crowd and reached out, just enough to touch the outer edge of the fringe of his clothes. Just the threads, the tassels. From behind. No one would notice.

Mark 5 records that Jesus immediately stopped and said, “Who touched my clothes?” He was in a large crowd of people, so everyone around him was touching him. He realized that someone didn’t just brush against him. Someone purposely reached out to touch his clothes, believing that the touch would cause something to happen.

As for the woman, she knew instantly that she was healed. She felt it. As everyone stopped and looked around, she confessed, terrified and trembling, that she was the one. Why was she afraid? She had just experienced something incredible. Her fear came from knowing that what she had done, touching a man while she was unclean, was against the law. Those that were unclean were required to call out loudly as they walked, ‘Unclean’ so that everyone could get out of the way and avoid them. Not designating yourself as unclean, and then touching someone in your unclean state would defile the person you touched. She took an enormous risk in reaching out to Jesus. Her touch could render him unclean. She was exposing herself and the one she touched to further isolation, as well as potential judgment and punishment.

But Jesus did not condemn her. Furthermore, he did not receive her uncleanness. Instead, he healed her, and he praised her faith.

The faith required to overcome fear and choose to step towards hope creates an atmosphere for a miracle.

Many times the answer we are seeking comes much later than we desire. This woman had repeatedly reached out for a remedy. She had been disappointed many times, but she also refused to give up. She extended herself in expectancy again despite scores of disappointments.

The name of the woman in this story isn’t revealed in the Bible. However, the primitive church deemed her important enough to give her a name: Veronica. Church legend indicates that she may also have been the woman who gave Jesus her veil to wipe the blood and sweat from his face as he made his way to the cross. It is also a traditional belief that the image of his face remained on that veil. This unnamed woman’s faith and charity is honored even today as Saint Veronica.

We have many issues. We have limitations. We have difficulties. My encouragement for you is to look past your situation. Take your ‘if only’ and turn into something active — a hope-filled step towards a better circumstance. Take your ‘if only’ and reach out to touch God. There won’t be anyone standing in your way. Your faith and action can create the environment for something wonderful to happen.