I remember the Christmas when…
How would you fill in the blank? I would predict that it probably would not be with the name of a gift you got on a certain Christmas. More than likely, you would complete that sentence with a significant memory you have had during this time of the year.
During the holiday season, it’s hard to not get caught up in the bombardment of commercial attitudes. The economic jump start to the season, ‘Black Friday’, now encroaches into Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, despoiling the focus on gratitude, values, and family. The marketing enticements of sales, lower prices, must haves, and the like can become overwhelming.
I recently read an editorial called Abundance Without Attachment in the New York Times. The contributor, Arthur Brooks, is a researcher in economics, politics and enterprise. Sometimes God speaks to me through the least likely people. This was one of those times.
Brooks made 3 simple points about avoiding the materialism trap. The first point was like a burning bush to me, an epiphany that became even more significant as I turned aside to ponder and listen for its message. It was a straightforward phrase.
Collect experiences, not things.
I’ve contemplated that expression in the quiet of my thoughts. I’ve also listened for it as my own family reminisces with laughter around the dinner table. I’ve smiled as my grown kids ask repeatedly for more of the ordinary experiences that symbolize Christmas to them. Baking cookies, playing board games, seeing Christmas lights, decorating gingerbread houses, attending a candlelight service, watching It’s a Wonderful Life, and choosing simple gifts for siblings hold special places in the hearts of our family.
I’ve reflected on my choices for spending money this Christmas. Aside from ornamental boxes and bows under the tree, does my time and spending reflect this value? Am I collecting memories instead of simply more stuff?
I believe that I am.
Even my grocery bill mirrors this value. It’s not because we necessarily eat a lot or because we choose expensive food options. It is because I understand that mealtimes morph into memories, and their value reaches far beyond the absorption of vitamins and minerals. Our family gatherings around the table are imprinting moments in time. My small investment into candles and tablecloths over the years creates atmosphere in my home that blends into a sensory holiday experience.
Yes, there are gifts under the tree, but perhaps more than the gifts, the anticipation of Christmas for us is being together, remembering that we do have a wonderful life, and knowing that our Savior has made a way for us.
Remembrance is truly powerful, particularly at Christmas. We remember Jesus, born in a stable, as we read the Christmas story. We remember our favorite Christmas traditions, and we relive them.
One such example of a bygone Christmas experience occurred about 10 years ago. In a well intentioned attempt to thwart the gift counting and comparison amongst my 5 children, I came up with an elaborate letter-number coding system for the presents. Instead of putting names on the gifts, I had a unique ‘code’ indicating whose gift it was. I was the only one in possession of the decoded list, which consisted of perhaps 20 individualized codes. As you might expect, this brilliant idea did not have the intended effect I had hoped for. Though none of my kids remembers specific gifts they received that year, to this day they will never forget the dreaded ‘secret code’ of Christmas!
Materialism is not the only thief of the true Christmas spirit. Many have experienced terrible loss or trauma during this season. It is real, and my family is not immune from this. The negative experiences can collect to mar the beauty of the season, for some to an almost unbearable level. If this is your current experience, I encourage you to invest in a new experience, one that will supplant the pain of previous experience. My sister is a beautiful example of this. Several years ago just before Christmas, she tragically lost her husband. December has since been a difficult month both for her and her family. This year, she bravely invested in creating a new memory. She opened her home to family and friends in a simple pre-Christmas drop in party. She allowed laughter and friendship to supplant grief and pain. She collected a new experience, perhaps one that will continue throughout the years. Additionally her daughter also brought joy into a difficult time by announcing her engagement. A time that once held pain and loss now holds hope for the future.
Collecting experiences doesn’t just include what you do with your own friends and family. We are fortunate for be a part of a school in Denver that focuses on giving. In the last 2 weeks, our school collected over $3000 in loose change, and through additional small donations of less than $5, raised enough money for 25,000 meals for the hungry and homeless in our area. My daughter was one of those that helped to pack the meals.
Jesus was very clear on collecting things.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
I imagine that first Christmas night was full of sounds, smells, and sensory life. The emotions, the people who were there, the things that happened. Yes, there were gifts given, but it was the experience not the things that defined this day of all days. That is our example as we live out our own lives.
I believe we can have a small part of heaven here on earth, with God inside of us and His value system affecting ours. I hope you will further your collection of experiences this season.
Love deeply, and focus on what is truly important.